I always look forward to blogging. Or should I say, I always lookED forward to blogging. Lately, I look at my To Do list, see “Write Blog”, and go onto the next thing. I’ve been getting really good at avoiding writing in my blog by replacing decent posts with “other topics of interest”. As you might have noticed, I’ve been posting other people’s content on my website, like videos that I love and think you might enjoy too (and maybe not notice that I haven’t actually written anything with substance in a month). I don’t know if complaining about the eye doctor falls into the “substance” category, so I’d rather leave it out and make a point about what we should do versus the right thing to do.

How do I know the difference? Well, one way to tell is when the same thing has been on my To Do list for 2 weeks and I keep finding reasons to put it off. In fact, today I did two things that are really boring and have been on my list for even longer than the blog writing. One thing I did was register my book with the US Copyright Office. You’d think I would have done that already, but I seem to be lacking that administrative part of the brain that gets me through projects like that. While I was in that mode, I did something equally as grueling – I packaged 3 books and got them ready to ship to a few people I wanted to send it to. The only thing that got me through that task was picturing the joy on their faces when they got the book I promised them 3 weeks ago. Procrastination is a great indicator of how we work, what we enjoy, and underlying energy that either attracts or sickens us when it comes to certain activities.

In my case, procrastination has a lot to do with the fun factor. For many others, it has to do with the fear factor. I think I’ve gotten pretty good at identifying what’s scary and going for it, but I haven’t mastered hurdling the boring tasks that loom overhead. I have to admit, I really despise anything administrative. I won’t get into my income and expenses spreadsheet because my Accountant will most likely be giving me an angry call (I promised that THIS time, I would really, truly, keep up on it). I haven’t kept track of my mileage since December 16th. Don’t tell anybody.

What I’m getting at is that if you want to learn about yourself and what you do like, maybe starting with what you don’t like is what will lead you into deeper inner work. I usually love blogging, so what’s my problem recently? I know exactly what it is. I feel completely overwhelmed by all of the events I’ve scheduled for myself this month, and a cluttered mind is not a creative mind. Hence the name for this year: “The Year of Simplicity”. Let’s see if I can actually follow my own advice and keep things simple. So far, that hasn’t happened…and I have an excuse! I scheduled all of these events last year, during “The Year of Everything”, so now I have to follow through on my commitments!

If you’re looking for ways to divide your should and have to’s with your wants, needs, and desires, start paying attention to how you spend your time, what lingers forever on your To Do list, and keep track of the tasks that leave you wanting more. These are the little things that will help you start developing a strong sense of self and give you some direction. I’ve come to terms with not being perfect, and once that happened, it became easy to see what held me back, what could make me successful, and how to help others do the same. Enjoy the journey and please forgive me if you don’t get another thoughtful blog post until February. I’m trying.