Inside The Mind (and Office) of an Entrepreneur, Part 1
January 29th, 2010 | 
Author: 
Interview, Take 1
I’m going to admit it, I’m terrified. Every day. I can’t decide if that makes me less credible, or more relatable. I also can’t decide if it’s a good blog post, or too personal for the web. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s a great thing to be terrified (that means there is growth involved somewhere), but is it a good thing to talk about? The verdict is that I’m posting it because I feel that if it’s uncomfortable, chances are, it’s a good thing to share. After all, who really wants to read the “Top 10 Tips on <fill in the blank>”. I think there are too many of those. Yes, I’ve made those lists before, but I’m trying to get away from those now. Moving on…
Yesterday, I spent an entire day with Amy Alvord, who is one of my clients. She asked me last week if she could shadow me for a day, since she wants to see what it would be like to start her own business (this could have something to do with me planting that seed in one of our sessions). I agreed, and we decided to not only turn the day into an observation, but also a series of short interviews between tasks, phone calls, errands, lunch, and emails. We videotaped everything. Seriously, we emptied my camera’s memory card 5 times and had to re-charge the battery a few times. After she left, I watched a few of the interviews and moments of “okay, do what you normally do and I’ll pretend there is no camera here, and that I’m not watching you“. What I saw was information that could be really useful not only for our “day in the life of an entrepreneur” documentary, but also for me. It was interesting to watch myself answering questions, at times searching for answers that I wasn’t sure where there for me yet. I found myself bored as I watched parts of it, thinking that I should get better at saying “I don’t know”, instead of continuing to talk while hoping that I will come up with some sort of useful nugget for the interview.
Another interesting observation I made was about the use of the camera. When the camera was on, I sat up straighter. I enunciated more. I smiled more. I was acting like a broadcaster or someone who wanted to be entertaining and interesting to watch. When we turned off the camera, I talked as I normally would, not paying much attention to my posture or how smart I sounded. Just being me.
What I’m learning is that as much as I talk about authenticity (and being yourself), it’s still really hard to do. Admitting this on my blog makes me feel partially redeemed for changing my physical self in the interviews yesterday, although it doesn’t get rid of the fact that I wanted to play the part of a smart business woman, not someone who didn’t know all the answers.
At one point, Amy asked this question: “Do you have a filter? How do you decide what to talk about and what to keep private? You seem to be very open about who you are. Why is that?” If you want to hear the answer, check out the short video below. It’s the first installment of the series of interviews I’ll be putting out over the next few weeks. Before or after you watch it, think about how you present yourself in your life. Are you trying to come across as someone you’re not? Are you afraid that if you disagree with someone or show your true self, that no one will like you? Do you feel that you’ll be happier if you ignore how you truly feel about something? These are thoughts I have every day, and am working towards better understanding them. It’s important to acknowledge that it’s a process, and it can start today, if you’re ready. I think these are the foundational steps to take if we really are invested in figuring out what we truly enjoy, truly want, and truly deserve.
Here it is, the first installment of my new series, “Inside The Mind (and Office) of an Entrepreneur, Part 1″
Posted in My Blog
Loved your video! The opening, about how you can’t coach people if you convey that you’re perfect. I just love that.
Also, I can’t imagine what it would look like to video you doing your job all day. If someone followed me around all day to see the life of an entrepreneur, it would be like an advertisement for Whole Foods. I go look at the fridge. Don’t eat. Look at the fridge. Eat. Look in the cupboard. Don’t eat. Work. Look at the cupboard eat. Seems to me that entrepreneurship is so much about self-discipline and self-motivation, personal schedules…
Penelope
Just because when the camera is on you are subtly different doesn’t make you un-authentic. It means that you are tuned in or more aware or in some cases more self-conscious of what you are saying and how you are saying it, when you are “on-camera”.
I do like that you are realizing it’s okay to say “I don’t know”. I wish more people did, because (seriously) most folks don’t have a clue and my BS-meter has become a constant buzzing in my head.
I first found your website though Megan M (@worldmegan) and her talking about your book. First of all, I cannot WAIT to read your book, because it looks fascinating, and very pertinent to my situation (budding entrepreneur, scared sh*tless most of the time, but trying to do it anyway). So there’s that.
But I was also wanted to reply to this post, because I agree with you. And I think that transparency and authenticity are things that our (my? I’m 26) generation values MUCH more than previous generations, although there are quite a few people in those earlier generations who have jumped on-board that particular bandwagon.
Anyway, my point is that I think it’s just fine to post about your fears, because, like you said, it lets us (your readers) know that you’re human, and it helps us realize that we’re not alone. Even people who already have a website, and a book, and a job as an entrepreneur still have to face the same fears that we, who likely have none of those things, are facing every day.
Such a great concept to think about. Thanks Angela, for digging into it.
This is such a main part of the culture of corporations (and I know because I see it every day.) People who advance are the ones who are seen as more ‘professional’. And at high levels there is such a strong identity associated with perfection, a certain image, and specific messages.
But what’s happening is that the general public is distancing themselves from the ‘corporate speak’ and gravitating towards those who are authentic, who have little flaws (like themselves), and who they can relate to. It may be due somewhat to the younger generation attitudes, but I think it’s more due to the new kind of messaging that the world is experiencing in forums like blogs, facebook, and twitter where people mostly just speak their mind and reveal their authenticity. We’re all so used to it now that the corporate-speak is becoming like a foreign language to us. “What are they talking about? Why can’t they just talk like a normal human being?”
Of course there are people with different views, who don’t agree with you, and you made a perfect point: you don’t have to work with them.
I find myself befriending and connecting with the ‘misfits’ who might be seen by management as a little odd, who have some kind of flaw in how they present themselves, but who I find have tremendous talents and genius if you can look past that thing that might be obvious on the outside.
Thanks for being who you are Angela. You’re on to something, and I think a lot of people will want to hear your ideas.
By the way, that was a funny admission to add the “Good place for an ‘I don’t know’” text in your video, but you actually did give a pretty good answer.
So is that the truth or an insecurity? Just because you might have made something up on the spot, doesn’t mean it wasn’t good.
What a great blog post Angela. I again am most struck and moved by your willingness to share your fears and thoughts. It inspires me to do the same. When I write my blog, which often focuses on the sillier side of life, I tend to shy away from the personal revelations, fearing people will think I’m weird. Can’t wait to see more!
YES, Angela — I’ve been thinking a lot about this same thing lately and your writing on it really hit the spot! I’m excited to watch the video…
Love the definition of “professional”. I think for what YOU do you need to be revealing as you are, because this is key to lead people by example, to their own goals. You said it, how else can they trust?
In other professions – where the service offer is clear-cut and largely a routine process, even if customized – this same approach might not pass as “professional”. Time to adopt or create your code of professional ethics?
Angela,
You are really awesome! I like your down to earth approach and for standing strong on your belief system. I couldn’t agree with you more on how we really need to always project our true selves and not segment our lives into personal, professional and whatever other sectors we see ourselves in. People are much more like-able when they are consistently just being themselves.
We live in a world of confusing messages being bombarded at us via good role models and good role models gone bad and the problem is that too many want to abandon who THEY are and instead want to live in the footsteps of someone else. There is nothing wrong aspiring to be great at what you love to do and using the role model as a driver, but you still need to be who you are.
Thanks again Angela. keep doing what you’re doing.
Charlie,
Thanks for your comment! This sentence: “People are much more like-able when they are consistently just being themselves.” Should be a bumper sticker or something…so true!
You really know what your doing and when you came to my school seemed like you had been public speaking since birth… wow keep up the great job!
Thanks Cory! It’s taken me 4 years to be comfortable with public speaking, but it was so worth the journey. If you’re interested in getting better at it, you can sign up for Toastmasters when you turn 18.
I first found your website though Megan M (@worldmegan) and her talking about your book. First of all, I cannot WAIT to read your book, because it looks fascinating, and very pertinent to my situation (budding entrepreneur, scared sh*tless most of the time, but trying to do it anyway). So there’s that.
But I was also wanted to reply to this post, because I agree with you. And I think that transparency and authenticity are things that our (my? I’m 26) generation values MUCH more than previous generations, although there are quite a few people in those earlier generations who have jumped on-board that particular bandwagon.
Anyway, my point is that I think it’s just fine to post about your fears, because, like you said, it lets us (your readers) know that you’re human, and it helps us realize that we’re not alone. Even people who already have a website, and a book, and a job as an entrepreneur still have to face the same fears that we, who likely have none of those things, are facing every day.
Angela,
You are really awesome! I like your down to earth approach and for standing strong on your belief system. I couldn’t agree with you more on how we really need to always project our true selves and not segment our lives into personal, professional and whatever other sectors we see ourselves in. People are much more like-able when they are consistently just being themselves.
We live in a world of confusing messages being bombarded at us via good role models and good role models gone bad and the problem is that too many want to abandon who THEY are and instead want to live in the footsteps of someone else. There is nothing wrong aspiring to be great at what you love to do and using the role model as a driver, but you still need to be who you are.
Thanks again Angela. keep doing what you’re doing.
Thank you Eric. You are right about the confusing message. I think I spend more time “unlearning” than actually “learning” new things. It’s fun though, glad to have you along for the journey.
Rob, I think fear is within all of us to some degree. The way we deal with it and overcome it is what’s important! I do presentations all the time and I get that nervous feeling and familiar “what am I doing?” questioning in my brain, and then I go through with it, and I’m so glad I did! I think if we can silence the resistance and still go through with what’s important to us, that’s when we’ve truly succeeded. Enjoy failing and making mistakes as you start, it’s what will make you great.